So You Think You Can Plan Your Own Wedding?

Simone Sant-Ghuran, Founder of Trinidad Weddings

If planning your own wedding is starting to feel overwhelming …it’s not just you!

Recently, Trinidad Weddings‘ Founder, Simone Sant-Ghuran had the pleasure of being interviewed by Photographer, Day Gordon (catch her blog post here!) to discuss what Wedding Planners actually do behind the scenes and why so many modern couples underestimate the true scope of wedding planning. Social media often makes weddings look effortless, but the reality is far more complex. In this conversation, Simone shares honest insight into the work, coordination and problem-solving involved in creating a seamless wedding experience and why having the right support can make all the difference!

Q: At What Point in the Planning process do couples usually start to feel overwhelmed?
Simone: This happens usually about 4 to 8 months into planning. The first 3 months are exciting and the novelty of engagement is still there. However, around the 4th month is typically where the bulk of vendor booking decisions are going to start being made. Around this time too, budget reality creeps in and time pressure increases. There are critical decisions to be made on every wedding planning aspect, vendors to communicate with, topped off with family opinions and expectations to weigh. So, it’s no wonder couples feel emotionally taxed around this time.

Q: What are 2–3 things you handle behind the scenes that couples would never even think about?
Simone: A main part of the job is acting as a guardian for the couple and protecting them from stress and difficult conversations, such as handling vendor issues, keeping personal items safe, family tensions, payment details, venue restrictions or guest problems. Another thing would be pre-empting logistics – those are the tiny details that most couples don’t even think about, such as where vendors will park, how decor elements will be transported into the venue, weather concerns, consideration for elderly guests, how the bridal party will line up or who is responsible for packing up the cake after the reception.

Q: If you had to explain your job beyond “helping plan a wedding,” what do you actually spend most of your time doing?
Simone: Think of the job like an “orchestra conductor” – someone bringing all the moving parts together in harmony. The bulk of the job is actually project management – co-ordination of timelines and logistics, health and safety management and constant, clear communication with all the “stakeholders” of the wedding – couples, their families, vendors and the venue. Problem-solving skills are also key, since sometimes adjustments need to be made “on the fly” and backup solutions need to be arranged. Another major part of the job is emotional management. Couples are making expensive decisions while balancing work, family expectations and even peer pressure and they often (and should!) lean on their Planner for objectivity, reassurance and as a confidante, who can guide them through the overwhelm.

Q: What would you say to a bride who feels like she “should be able to handle it herself?”
I’d ask her how she wants to experience her wedding? As a bride or as an event manager? Those are two very different realities and roles! Some brides may be capable of DIY-ing the planning themselves but there is often a heavy cost involved – emotionally, mentally and physically. Many DIY brides bear the burden of it all and end up feeling burnt out and unsupported. Even the most organised people can buckle under the pressure because of the sheer volume of decision-making and might I add – all of these decisions affect each other! Asking for help from a Planner does not mean a bride is failing – it actually is the reverse, it gets you the support you need to be present and “in the moment” on your wedding day instead of fire-fighting problems, getting into family disagreements and worrying.

Q: When someone decides not to hire a planner, what do they usually end up taking on themselves?
Simone: When couples decide not to hire a Planner, they usually end up taking on far more than they initially expected. Most couples have not had prior experience with wedding planning, so this is new territory for them and so with this lack of experience, they now have to take on researching and vetting vendors, comparing quotes, analysing contracts, tracking payments and deadlines, building the wedding timeline, coordinating deliveries, managing setup times, answering vendor questions, sorting out logistics, troubleshooting last-minute problems and communicating with everyone involved. The worst though, is on the wedding day itself, the couple ends up with the “mental weight” that a Planner normally absorbs. So, they now have to ensure vendors have arrived on time and execute as they should, answer calls and messages, fix guest issues like seating, solve any delays and manage family complaints! Think about how a stressed or aggravated bride or groom looks in photographs and you’ll definitely know the ones who have decided NOT to hire a Planner!

Q: In your opinion, what types of weddings really benefit from having a full-service Planner?
Simone: In my opinion, almost every wedding benefits from professional planning support in some way but certain types of weddings would especially benefit from having a full-service Planner because of the complexity and scale. These would be weddings with a guest count of 100 and over, destination weddings – where the couple is not familiar with local vendors and/or are planning remotely, outdoor weddings, weddings that feature multiple events (e.g. Hindu weddings or any type of multi-day or muti-venue celebration) and luxury weddings – which feature many customised aspects. Couples who have demanding careers and those who have limited time to plan would also benefit from a Full-Service Planner.

Q: Are there situations where a full Planner might not be necessary? What would you recommend instead?
Simone: There are several scenarios where a full-service Planner may not be necessary. These are micro weddings (50 guests or less) held at an all-inclusive venue, where minimal vendors are involved. However, I would caution couples who feel that their venue’s co-ordinator can substitute as their “Planner” – since a venue co-ordinator’s role is to manage the venue itself and not vendors, timelines or logistics which are outside of their venue responsibilities. Instead of a full-service Planner, couples can also opt for a wedding consultation or wedding coaching which can help them with budget concerns or planning, vendor choices, contract review, help with templates and checklists and realistic timeline development. Couples can also choose to go the route of using a Planner for “partial-planning” (for certain tasks) or can decide to book “month-of” co-ordination – where a Wedding Co-ordinator works with you for the month before your wedding.

Q: On a wedding day, what are the main things someone needs to be actively managing?
Simone: On the wedding day itself, the job is really about safeguarding the couple’s experience – helping them stay happy, calm and be fully “present.” Someone needs to be managing timelines and keep the day on schedule (or adjust it when delays happen). There’s also vendor co-ordination and supervision (for example cueing the DJ or the start of bar service). Remember that vendors are usually laser-focused on their own service and sometimes cannot see the “whole picture” as a Planner would. There’s also managing the guest flow – transportation, parking, ushering, arrival and seating, as well as comfort issues like heat, wind or delays. Executing the ceremony is another aspect – ensuring precision timing and sequencing by having all participants and music cued and co-ordinated. Orchestrating the reception is also critical – with entrance timing, co-ordination of speeches and toasts, entertainment, food and beverage service and managing key moments such as first dance and cake-cutting.

What have you seen happen when no one is clearly in charge of those things?
Simone: A wedding doesn’t just need vendors doing their jobs. It needs one person actively managing the timing, decisions and flow. Without that person, everyone may be working hard but not working together. When no one is in charge – things unravel and everything runs off schedule (sometimes to the detriment of the couple – with having to pay late/overtime fees to certain vendors). What often happens is that vendors start “directing” themselves and making certain assumptions (e.g. a caterer serving earlier rather than later). When no one is managing the wedding day and communication is poor, even small issues tend to escalate (e.g. guest seating confusion). These mishaps cause chaos, can change the energy of the day and can even deflate key moments (e.g. first dance) which can seem disjointed and disorganised. Your guests will notice!

Q: If you could give one piece of honest advice to a bride trying to decide if she needs a Planner, what would it be?
Simone: It’s not a matter of whether you can “plan” or whether you like “planning” – what you need to ask yourself is: “Do I want to be the person coordinating timing, people and solving problems while I’m also trying to be present, emotional and photographed in real-time?” Do you want to be in decision-making mode when timelines shift, people need direction, someone did not do what you asked them to, vendors need cues or deal with decisions that can’t wait? The day goes by in a blur and it’s so much better to let someone hold that structure for you, so that you have peace and joy on your special day!